I have been thinking a lot lately on whats next for me and my family. I have pondered on what has happened the last few months, how my happiness and spirit has changed. How my gratitude and love has grown. It amazes me on how my life has changed and my attitude at that. How much i have grown and matured through the last several months. Its like i just blinked my eyes and it still feels like its not real at times. In the last several years when i would think about the step of leaving my husband and being a single mom, i never pictured it being like this. I always doubted myself and thought i would never make it, thought love would never find me,a single mom two children who would want that, i thought. I never thought i could make it leaving in my own apartment after leaving him or being able to succeed at all. I felt so down to earth and so for sure on knowing that i couldn't do it and so i should just keeping trying and have more patience things will get better. The wonderful thing about all of this is that i have proven myself wrong in so many ways. I am a single mom of two children, i live in my own apartment, and i have found love again. I have made it for myself and for my children. I have gotten further than i ever thought i would. I am going 5 months without the man i was with for 5 years and i am still trucking along. I am so very proud of myself, for making the best decision i could have ever made for myself. I am the happiest person there could ever me on this earth. I don't have jewels, or riches,or money either. I have family and friends, my children and the man i have fallen so deeply and madly in love with. So whats next for me is a new positive attitude. A new change, and new hope and a new way of life.
Growing up was difficult and i was depressed a lot and then getting married, at that point i thought it was the best decision for me and that it was the right path for me to take, i believe this man was the one. Then after being married for over a year i had doubt and so much had change but i kept trying, the depression was holding on too me as well, and with everything i was going through in the marriage made it so hard. I was not on medicine, i didn't actually take any medicine for depression until over a year ago, now i am off of it. I changed my mind, my way of thinking, the positive attitude, also not letting things getting to me as much. I have learned a lot and i am excited for once in my life to know i am truly happy and i can now look forward to a future of knowledge, hope, love, and happiness.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Its been a pretty good time of the year so far. Enjoying having lots of time with the kids. Went to black Island farms for Abby's field trip that was a really fun family activity. Then took the kids to trick or treat at lee's that was fun. Went to a trunk or treat with the kids and to all there grandparents house. Had some good visits. I had to get new glasses, there super cute but more money then what i wanted to spend. Now we are preparing for thanksgiving. I am hoping i can go with Jac to Wyoming to go visit with his dad, for thanksgiving. Abby and Lucas will stay here with there dad for thanksgiving. Enjoy some time with there great grandpa. I found out that he has cancer and probably does not have much time to live, he is ready to go home to his wife.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
My life is full of happiness. I have to thank my children, myself and Jacob. I have changed my life so much and i couldn't be more grateful for what i have done for myself. I have not done anything truely for myself in a long time and now that i have i am really happy. Life is so great. I want to live life and am going to live it like there is no tomorrow. Life is too short to be miserable. I love my life..... I have the most amazing people in my life. Jac is an incredible and most amazing man ever. I am extremely lucky to have an amazing man and friend in my life.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
I have recently started dating a guy i have known for ten years. He is the sweetest, most loving, caring, and respectful man i have ever been with. I feel so very lucky to have such an amazing guy in my life. I am moving on very fast, i didn't expect to but its been an amazing roller coaster ride. I have enjoyed all of the time we have spent together and i can't wait to see where it goes. My life is very full. And i Am very very happy.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Abby just turned four on August 16 we had a Bbq at her grandma's and a swimming party. She wanted a princess party so i tried to give her that i made her a castle cake with all the princesses on it. Turned out pretty good. She is growing up so fast, seems like yesterday i was holding her in the hospital room. Looking at her tiny face. Now she is starting pre-school this week. Its so amazing how life changes in front of your eyes.
Lucas turned three on September 3 we had a party at his favorite park (fishy park lol). We had a great time and he had a spider man cake and he absolutely loved it. He is such a fun kid to be around makes me smile all the time is always concerned about me... if i am crying he will say please don't cry momma. He is just the sweetest little boy. He has the most adorable smile too.
I love you Abby and Lucas you both bring me so much joy and happiness.
I have been doing some soul searching and finding the happiness that i know is somewhere in my heart.... I have been doing a really good job, i am really happy right now. I have stood up for myself and i am very proud of me for all that i have done for myself. I am a stronger woman i am making it out on top and life is really good. I have an amazing support system. its so wonderful to finally see myself again.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
This is my life. My Abby is always out there, always on the go. Its always babies, it never ends. And now she is entering the stage of Princess. She now wants a princess party with a princess cake. She even wants to go to Disney Land and meet the Princess. She is so adorable i love her so much.
Lucas is all boy. He is into sports just like dad. Very much is a daddy's boy. He love's sports and action figures, Transformers, and spider man. He loves playing outside, and playing with his sister. He makes friends very easy. He looks a lot older then he is because he is really a big kid. I love him so much. I love how he says i Love you momma like a thousands times a day.